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Dealing With Pain

On our journey through life we all encounter periods of pain. Sometimes this pain is physical, sometimes it is emotional, but in either case it's very important to have a strategy for dealing with painful circumstances.

If you are dealing with a painful situation at the moment, I'd like to share with you a quote that has helped me get through some of the most painful times of my life. The quote is this:

In 2002 I was involved in an accident in a karate dojo and faced several months of rehabilitation. During this time I printed out this quote and stuck it next to my bed. I read it every morning and every night and I believe it played a big part in my recovery.

When we are faced with pain we each have a choice to make. We can quit and accept our circumstances, or we can make the decision to fight with all the resources we have at our disposal.

Today I'd like to encourage you to draw on the support of those who love you and adopt the view that your pain is temporary.

When you adopt this perspective, you will start to turn your focus towards the future and begin to look beyond your current pain. I hope this quote will help you as much as it has helped me.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

The Success Secret of a 9 Year Old

When I was 9 years old, one of my favourite meals was sausages and mash potato. The only problem with this meal was that it usually came with…brocolli.

Each time I was faced with this meal, I would enjoy my sausages and mash potato and then toy with my brocolli in the hope that it would eventually get cold and I wouldn't have to finish it. This approach transformed dinner into a long and drawn out process.

Then one day, my best friend whose name was Sean Sullivan came over to my house for the day to play. When it came time for dinner, Mum made us sausages, mash potato and… brocolli.

As I stated eating my sausages and mash potato, my friend Sean did something that completely amazed me:

- He ate all his brocolli first without touching his sausages or mash potato.

I couldn't believe it!

I thought he was crazy until I got to the point where I was toying with my brocolli and realised that he was now enjoying his sausages and mash potato.

On that day I learnt a lesson that I have never forgotten and that I still use every day. The lesson was this:

When faced with a list of things to do, always do the hardest task first.

Here's what this means in the real world:

Each morning when you check your daily To Do list, you will notice that some of the items on your list will be easy to do but will only have a relatively small impact on achieving your goals. Other items which are usually more difficult to do will have a much bigger impact on moving you forward.

One of the most effective ways to increase your overall productivity is to start your day by working on the difficult tasks that will make a real difference to your progress.

To do this, you must resist the temptation to "Just do the easy things first " because often this means that you keep putting off the high impact tasks that will really make a difference to achieving your goals.

Another advantage of 'eating your brocolli first' is that when you are feeling less productive at the end of the day, you are often still able to complete the easy tasks on your To Do list.

So today, I'd like to encourage you to prioritise your To Do list based on the impact each item will have on achieving your goals and follow the example of my 9 year old friend and learn to eat your brocolli first.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

How To Solve Problems

In order to achieve your most important goals in life, you will need to confront and solve a number of problems. Some of these problems will be small and easy to solve while others may at times appear insurmountable. One of the most powerful strategies you can use to overcome these problems is Subconscious Incubation.

As you may know, your mind has a conscious component which contains the thoughts you actively think and a subconscious component that regulates the processes that occur automatically such as breathing and blinking.

Here's how the process of Subconscious Incubation works:

Step 1: Fill Your Conscious Mind

The first step to solving problems using Subconscious Incubation is to fill your conscious mind with all the details of the problem you are facing. The way I like to do this is to read, analyze, discuss, brainstorm, mind-map, and draw pictures to examine the problem from every possible angle. The best time to do this is a few hours before you go to bed.

Step 2: Switch Off Your Conscious Mind

Having filled your conscious mind with the details of your problem, the next step is to switch off your conscious mind so that it doesn't get in the way. If you don't switch off your conscious mind you will probably find that you keep thinking about your problem and toss and turn all night.

My favorite way to switch off my conscious mind is to shut down my computer, close the door to my study and go for a walk on the beach. A change of scenery, fresh air and exercise is a great way to relax and switch off your conscious mind. If you don't have a beach nearby, try a park or even a stroll around the block.

As you turn off your conscious mind, the details of your problem pass down into your subconscious mind for processing.

Step 3: Incubate

When you come home from your walk, have a warm glass of milk or tea and go straight to bed. Don't watch television or do anything else to reactivate your conscious mind.

Step 4: Revisit The Problem

When you first become conscious in the morning, don't rush to get out of bed. Instead, take a moment to keep your eyes closed and revisit the problem you are trying to solve. Often in that magical place between sleep and consciousness you will find a sense of clarity and discover new insights into solving your problem.

So there you have it!

The process of Subconscious Incubation takes a little bit of practice but it is a very effective way to confront and overcome the problems that stand between you and achieving your most important life goals.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

Success City

One of the most important lessons you can learn on your road to success is that failure is not a final destination, but rather a place you pass through on your way to achieving your goals.

Here is a picture to show you what I mean:

This simple picture illustrates a number of very important points about the relationship between failure and success:

1. There is only one road to Success City

2. The road to Success City passes through Failureville

3. One of the main reasons people never reach Success City is because they are so afraid of driving through Failureville that they never begin their journey.

So what does this mean in the real world?

It means that failure is not the opposite of success as many people assume. On the contrary,failure is an important part of achieving success. In fact, it is usually through the process of trying and failing that we learn the lessons we need in order to ultimately achieve our goals in life.

My favourite quote regarding the relationship between failure and success comes from the legendary basketball player Michael Jordan:

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."
- Michael Jordan

When you understand the fact that success lies on the other side of failure you will be much better prepared for the journey that leads to achieving your most important life goals.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

Success In A Pot

One of the best things you can have on your desk at work or on your kitchen table is a pot plant. Not only does it look great but, believe it or not, it can also be a valuable tool for achieving success in every area of your life.

So how can a simple pot plant help you achieve success?

One of the fundamental laws of nature is this:

Anything that does not receive regular
attention will deteriorate over time.

If you think about this for a moment, you'll see that this law holds true not only for a pot plant but also for every area of your life:

If you do not pay regular attention to your health, it will deteriorate over time.
If you do not pay regular attention to your relationships, they will deteriorate over time.
If you do not pay regular attention to your finances, they will deteriorate over time

Having a pot plant on your desk is a great visual reminder of this fundamental law because if you don't water it regularly it too will deteriorate.

As you water your plant every few days, use this action as a trigger to remind yourself to review your health, relationships and finances on a regular basis.

A good way to reinforce this idea is to place something like the following on the base of your pot.

Sometimes as you water your pot plant you might realise that you haven't done any exercise for a few weeks.

At other times your may become aware that its been two months since you and your wife/husband have had some quiet time together.

Alternatively, your pot plant may also remind you that you need to review your finances.

As you can see, a simple pot plant sitting on your desk or kitchen table can be a great reminder to pay regular attention to the things that are most important to you.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

The Truth About Role Models

One important strategy for achieving your goals is to identify role models who have already achieved the success that you aspire to. Our role models inspire us and give us a glimpse of what is possible in life. However, there is one important point relating to role models that is often overlooked…

When you find a role model that you admire, it can be very tempting to want to be 'just like them'. This can lead to the mistake of thinking that in order to be successful you need to be more like your mentor and less like yourself.

The reality however is that pretending to be someone you are not never leads to long term success.

One of the most valuable success lessons I've ever learned is this:

Learn from others but be yourself

Here's an example to show you what I mean:

Alison was studying to be a teacher. As part of her training she visited a school where she was assigned a mentor who was an experienced teacher named Mr. Holden.

The first thing Alison noticed when she sat in on Mr. Holden's class was that he started each lesson with a brain teaser which was a great strategy for gaining the student's attention. Alison was also very impressed with Mr. Holden's teaching style. He was naturally entertaining and constantly had his students laughing during class.

When Alison started teaching she used Mr. Holden's strategy of beginning each class with a brain teaser and found it to be very effective. However, when she tried to be funny and entertaining she did not get the response she was hoping for.

Over time, Alison came to realise that she should not try to be 'another Mr. Holden'. She discovered that the best way to improve her teaching was to incorporate the tips, strategies and techniques from her mentors in a way that suited her own personality.

Whatever goal you are currently pursuing, it is very important to realise that the best way to obtain success is to learn from others but always remain true to yourself. Instead of trying to become someone you are not, focus on being more of who you really are.

When you combine the tips and strategies of your role models with your own unique personality you will have a powerful recipe for achieving success. So always remember tolearn from others but be yourself.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

How To Build Your Self Confidence

One of the most important steps to achieving your goals in life is to develop a strong sense of self confidence. This does not however involve becoming loud or arrogant. On the contrary, people with genuine self confidence are usually calm and self assured and do not need to 'big note' themselves.

Here are my top ten tips for building your self confidence:

1. Visualise Yourself As The Person You Want To Be

Each morning spend a few minutes visualising yourself as the person you want to be. Think about the way you dress, the way you carry yourself and the way you interact with other people. Seeing yourself as the person you want to become is the first step towards building self confidence.

2. Self Confidence Statement

After visualising yourself as the person you want to be, read the following statement out loud:

"I know I have the ability to achieve my major goal in life. Therefore today,
I demand of myself persistent and continuous action towards achieving my goal"

Reading this statement out loud is a great way to start your day in a confident state of mind.

3. Dress Well

One of the most effective ways to instantly improve your level of self confidence is to dress well and to make the decision to always be well groomed. This does not mean you have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe. Instead, just focus on gradually building up a small collection of good quality clothes. Also remember that simple accessories such as a tie clip or necklace can make a big difference to the way you look and feel.

4. Positive Posture

Another powerful way to build your sense of self confidence is to stand up straight and lose the slouch that many of us have acquired over the years. While you may be able to make a change to your posture by simply becoming aware of it, the best way to make a long lasting change to your posture is to practice yoga or pilates.

5. Move With Purpose

A simple but effective tip for increasing your levels of self confidence is to always move with a sense of purpose. In his book 'The Magic of Thinking Big', David Schwartz recommends walking 25% faster than normal. Having a spring in your step lets people know that you have important things to do and actually makes you feel more confident as you go about your daily business.

6. Become A Participant

Have you ever noticed that in most meetings or groups, people immediately head towards the back of the room so that they can remain as inconspicuous as possible? A great way to increase your visibility and sense of self confidence is to make the decision to always sit towards the front of the room and be a participant. When you have something to say - don't be afraid to say it.

7. Connect With Confidence

Another way to quickly improve your self confidence is to practice making a strong first impression. When you meet someone face-to-face, look them directly in the eye, smile broadly, shake hands firmly and say, "Hi Jim, nice to meet you".

Similarly, you can sound more confident on the phone by answering, "Good morning Carol Jones speaking" instead of simply saying "Hello…"

8. Build Your Success File

Occasionally your self confidence will take a hit when something doesn't work out the way you hoped. One of the best ways to repair your self confidence in this situation is to keep a folder outlining your past achievements and successes. You should also include any positive feedback that you've received from others.

As you review your success file and fill your mind with positive comments, your doubts and insecurities will quickly disappear and your self confidence will be restored.

9. Preparation

The BIG secret to being self confident that people rarely talk about is - preparation. The more you prepare and practice for an event, the more self confident you will become.

If you are worried about an upcoming event, use your apprehension as a stimulus to take action and practice, practice, practice. The simple but powerful truth is that self confidence grows through repetition and experience.

10. Toastmasters

My final tip for developing self confidence is to join a Toastmasters group.

Toastmasters is a non-profit organisation that helps people from all walks of life to develop their public speaking and leadership skills. In my experience Toastmasters offers a safe and relaxed environment to step out of your comfort zone and develop the invaluable skills of being able to think on your feet and speak in public.

So there you have it!

If you implement some or all of these 10 techniques you'll gradually develop a greater sense of self confidence which in turn will help you to pursue and achieve your most important life goals.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

From Hope To Change

Around the world today there is a new feeling permeating the air. From the small village in Africa to my home town here in Australia, the feeling that is bringing the world together is an unprecedented sense of HOPE - Hope for ourselves as individuals, hope for our families, hope for our nations and ultimately, hope for our global community.

As we move forward, many will begin to ask - "How can we transform this sense of hope into real and long lasting change?"

I pondered this question in the early hours of the morning and gradually formulated the following picture. I sincerely believe that this diagram is as applicable to individuals attempting to transform their personal circumstances, as it is to nations attempting to transform their destiny:

As you can see, this Cycle of Change begins with elevated hopes. When we have hope in our hearts for a period of time, we begin to believe in the possibility of a brighter future. This sense of belief is the fuel that then drives us to take action.

Through repeated and sometimes difficult action, we gradually achieve visible results. Over time, it is these results that lead to long lasting change. The true magic of this cycle is that when we see and experience tangible change, our hopes are elevated to a higher level and the cycle begins anew.

Today I'd like to encourage you to nurture your feelings of hope and be willing to believe in a brighter future for yourself and your family. I encourage you to use your sense of belief to propel yourself into action. Start today and begin to accumulate the results that will lead to real and lasting change in your life.

When you truly understand the Cycle of Change there really is no limit to what you can achieve.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

How To Become A Leader

One of the surest ways to achieve success in life is to become a leader in your chosen field. Many people shy away from the thought of being a leader because they don't feel that they have the natural confidence or ability to lead others, but there is a secret to becoming a great leader…

The secret to becoming a great leader is to understand that most leaders started out by being 'intelligent followers'.

An intelligent follower is someone who:

1. Chooses the right leader to follow

2. Listens and learns from the person they are following

3. Takes actions and applies the things they learn

Once you start using this process you will discover that leadership is a skill like any other and that you can learn to be a great leader.

So today I'd like to encourage you to make the decision to become a leader in your chosen field.

Start by identifying someone in your area who has achieved the position you want to achieve and who conducts themselves with integrity. Next, learn as much as you can by observing and listening to the person you have chosen to follow. If you don't have personal access to them, subscribe to their blog and follow them on Twitter to gain an insight into the way they think.

Finally, the most important step of all is to apply the ideas and strategies that you learn. One of my favourite quotes of all time is this:

" Knowing is not enough, we must apply.
Willing is not enough, we must do."
- Goethe

By being an intelligent follower, you will rapidly gain the skills and experience that you need to become a great leader in your own right.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

Anthony

How To Achieve Your Goals

by ANTHONY on

Imagine for a moment that you are walking into a huge super-store that sells every possible item under the sun. As you stroll around the aisles, you’ll notice that each item, whether it is big or small, has one thing in common – it has a price tag attached to it.

In order to purchase an item from the super-store, you need to do two things:

(1) Decide which item you want
(2) Be willing and able to pay the price listed on the price tag

One of the most important realizations you can ever have is that ‘Life’ is the ultimate super-store. Each item on offer in the super-store of life is a goal and every goal has an associated price tag that is measured not in dollars but in hours of effort.

In order to achieve any goal in life all you have to do is:

(1) Decide what goal you want to achieve
(2) Be willing and able to pay the price associated with achieving that goal

Here’s an example to illustrate how this important concept works in the real world…

Ben was interested in taking up a martial art. After exploring the options available to him, he decided that what he really wanted was to obtain a black belt in karate.

With his decision made, Ben then looked into determining the ‘price tag’ associated with making his goal a reality. He discovered that if he did two 1.5 hour training sessions each week, it would take him approximately 4 years to achieve his black belt.

The ‘price tag’ associated with achieving his goal was therefore 624 hours of effort.

Knowing the price associated with achieving his goal, Ben made a full commitment to paying this price in order to make his goal a reality.

Today I’d like to encourage you to take a stroll though the super-store of life and make a choice from the endless goals that life has to offer.

Once you have made your decision, try and identify the price in hours of effort associated with achieving your goal. You may not always be able to get an exact answer, but you can usually gauge the amount of effort required to achieve most goals.

Finally, once you have chosen your goal and identified the associated price tag, commit yourself to paying the price and get started today!

You really can have anything you want in life as long as you decide exactly what it is that you want and you are willing to pay the price required to make your goal a reality.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!

How To Get What You Want

by ANTHONY on

Asking people for what we want can sometimes be a difficult process involving awkward discussions and potential conflict. However, it doesn’t have to be that way.

The secret to getting what you want from other people is to develop a genuine sense of reciprocity by giving before you receive.

The term ‘reciprocity’ describes the expectation that people will respond to you in the same way that you respond to them. So if you give another person something of value, they will be much more inclined to give you something in return.

Next time you want something from someone, instead of simply asking or demanding what you want, try using the following Reciprocity Formula.

The Reciprocity Formula

Step 1: Analyse the situation from the other person’s point of view and try to identify what they currently want. If you can’t figure out what they want, the best thing to do is to ask them.

Step 2: When you have identified the main thing they want, present your case by saying something like, "If I help you achieve… [what they want], could we discuss… [what you want]. Most reasonable people will be open to this approach because they are receiving before they have to give.

Step 3: Follow through and help the other person achieve their objective. The more time and effort you put in during this step, the more reciprocity you will develop.

Step 4: When you have achieved the objective you agreed upon, revisit your initial discussion and ask for what you originally wanted.

Here’s an example that shows how the Reciprocity Formula works in the real world:

Sherry worked as a Sales Rep in a software company and wanted to ask her boss for a raise. From previous experience, she knew that simply asking for a raise was rarely effective so she decided to apply the Reciprocity Formula.

Step 1: Sherry had lunch with her boss and asked him what his major goal was for the quarter. He informed her that what he really wanted was to sell 1000 copies of the companies new accounting software before the end of the financial year.

Step 2: Sherry then presented her case by saying, "If I can sell 1000 copies of the new accounting software by June 30th, would you be open to discussing a raise?" Her boss said he’d be happy to.

Step 3: Sherry got down to work and devised a viral marketing campaign on the Internet. She worked extremely hard and her boss could see that she was serious about achieving her goal.

Step 4: Sherry achieved her sales goal and arranged to have lunch with her boss again. In a three month time frame, she’d added a great deal of value to the company and in doing so, she’d also built up a genuine sense of reciprocity with her boss. Over lunch, Sherry’s boss confirmed that he would be happy to give her a raise.

Giving before you receive and developing a genuine sense of reciprocity is one of the most effective ways to get what you want from other people. So today, I’d like to encourage you to use the Reciprocity Formula to develop true WIN-WIN agreements that will help you achieve your most important life goals.

Until next time,

Dare To Dream!